I just thought i'd write in here today as i got up this morning, realised "Hey im 32 today" and pulled the curtains and the rain was pissing down and its just so god damned depressing. I see people younger me who have achieved so much in life and it annoys me. Its not through lack of trying on my part-Ive tried working and was told im not allowed to and money is just so freaking scarse. Certain UN-NAMED family members have pissed me off and should they read this "Leave me alone-I want nothing to do with you!" ....with good reason. I fell out with them a while back and through selfish, childish comments they've made,i hate them more. I try to do everything by the law and try my best not to just take because i can and it has got me no where. All i want to do in life is climb those mountains to raise the money so i can live my life out doing voluntry work for animals. Is that so selfish? Yet those who dont abide by the law seem to have money popping out there arses and care for one thing-THEMSELVES! do just fine. It pisses me off...it pisses me off big time. Ive got capoeira classes tonight and i know im just not gonna be the best company for my fellow capoeiristas. Ive had to give up the climbing classes through having no money. So many people say "Theres people worse off than you, be grateful for what you've got" and i think comments like that are so arrogant cos those people dont know how you feel or what your going through. Sure theres people who are dieing, people who are homeless ect ect, but how does that change my problems? Should i be thankful for my epilepsy because its not going to kill me? Should i be thankful for my bills because theres people worse off? What about those scheming bastards who have so much in life or those that cant be bothered to work even though there fit and able to but are just too damn lazy or those that are being paid a fortune for playing games(footballers) when im stuck at home not being given a chance for anything in life.
Everything just sucks and if anyone expects me not to feel like crap just because theres others worse off then all i say to them is walk a mile in my shoes before you tell me anything...you dont know what i go through, how i feel. All i want is to do things to help others and money is not allowing me to...and for the one who told me i was "Trying to act like some kind of He-man because i want to do charity work" i say FUCK YOU, You know who you are and the only reason im not naming names is because i know you and him will spit your dummys out if i do.
To everyone else and to all the kind people reading this i apologise and say read something else!!!lol