I just thought i'd write in here today as i got up this morning, realised "Hey im 32 today" and pulled the curtains and the rain was pissing down and its just so god damned depressing. I see people younger me who have achieved so much in life and it annoys me. Its not through lack of trying on my part-Ive tried working and was told im not allowed to and money is just so freaking scarse. Certain UN-NAMED family members have pissed me off and should they read this "Leave me alone-I want nothing to do with you!" ....with good reason. I fell out with them a while back and through selfish, childish comments they've made,i hate them more. I try to do everything by the law and try my best not to just take because i can and it has got me no where. All i want to do in life is climb those mountains to raise the money so i can live my life out doing voluntry work for animals. Is that so selfish? Yet those who dont abide by the law seem to have money popping out there arses and care for one thing-THEMSELVES! do just fine. It pisses me off...it pisses me off big time. Ive got capoeira classes tonight and i know im just not gonna be the best company for my fellow capoeiristas. Ive had to give up the climbing classes through having no money. So many people say "Theres people worse off than you, be grateful for what you've got" and i think comments like that are so arrogant cos those people dont know how you feel or what your going through. Sure theres people who are dieing, people who are homeless ect ect, but how does that change my problems? Should i be thankful for my epilepsy because its not going to kill me? Should i be thankful for my bills because theres people worse off? What about those scheming bastards who have so much in life or those that cant be bothered to work even though there fit and able to but are just too damn lazy or those that are being paid a fortune for playing games(footballers) when im stuck at home not being given a chance for anything in life.
Everything just sucks and if anyone expects me not to feel like crap just because theres others worse off then all i say to them is walk a mile in my shoes before you tell me anything...you dont know what i go through, how i feel. All i want is to do things to help others and money is not allowing me to...and for the one who told me i was "Trying to act like some kind of He-man because i want to do charity work" i say FUCK YOU, You know who you are and the only reason im not naming names is because i know you and him will spit your dummys out if i do.
To everyone else and to all the kind people reading this i apologise and say read something else!!!lol

Hi,
I just came on to post this as from now on i'll be posting the travel blogs on myspace.com as im on there more or less every day. So if your intrested in keeping up with what im doing pop on there and i should come up under ciderman but my name comes up too (Glen Pettifer) so it wont be difficult to find!!
Hope your all well
Best wishes
Glen

I dont know why but im having trouble sleeping. Whether its the 'family issues' that have been going through my head and the fact i drink way too much tea in winter but because im not getting enough sleep my epilepsys playing up. I had 2 attacks yesterday evening and now i just want to sleep. Ive been back to be to try and it hasn't worked but i feel so...whats the word...i dunno...i guess i have winter blues. I hate this time of year, bad weather always makes me feel cranky and the cat i sleep with (dont ask..its nothing strange!!) tends to sleep on my arm when its in the most awkward positions and i wont wake her cos shes too sweet and i luv her to bits but right now i need sleep.
Oh well time for another cuppa!! lol

Hey i just came on to do a 100% serious post (not that the preyer was not...i am financially desperate!).
I hear off someone this past week who i fell out with a while back. It was difficult times and our Dad had not long died and trying to sort things out came to hard i think for everyone. Anyway, were back in touch now and i just want to tell all my family, wherever you are in the world that i love you and i'd never do anything to purposely jepordise oure relationships again without having a really good reason first. It wasn't all my fault at the time, alot of mistakes and harsh things were said by everyone. Now i feel nothing can stop me making up because i am going away to embarke on new adventures next year. Snowdon will be the begining of a new life for me and i have alot of serious plans to carry out. I hope i can go at peace with all of my family then. Looking at things realisticly i am planning on doing potentianlly life threatening things. People die on Everest every year and Everest is just one of my several aims. Realistically i might not come home from any of the trips i have planned. All going as planned i wil and i'll have made alot of money for charities and done alot of work for charities myself, but i just want my family to know i value you all and love you all x

DEAR LORD,
Thank you for all you have given us...women, boobies, football, cider and my handsome HANDSOME good looks and wonderful body(Keep up the good work!!) and lord should you read a blog from someone as low as i, if your pc in the heavens above is plugged in and you bump into my online preyer....PLEASE oh PLEASE let me win the lottery tomorrow (or the euromillions tonight...or even both if you feel generous!) so i can go ahead with next years plans to raise the money to give to charity and go away to Thailand on my voluntry work with the orphened elefumps!
Should i win i will give money to charity and still do my trips to raise more money for the needy...but right now i am the needy...i needy to win the lottery!!! So please lord control those balls to let me win (i'll even give you a cut and build a church!!)
Thank you lord
Amen

I got all my credit card bills this past week....it seems by the time you've paid one the next one drops through the door.
Well, like the title says im a tad worried cos of needed money that i havent got. I dont like moaning about money but i only need it to raise money which seems a little cocked eyed but i need to get all my camping equiptment, pay train fares, book places to stay and where to eat (being a vegan its alot harder than just nipping into a cafe for a bite) and just how much will the Snowdon trip cost putting aside the Ben nevis, China, Paris, Tanzania and Nepal trips. I'm not going to give up on doing Snowdon in June 2008, my hearts set on it and if i have to walk to wales i bloody well will! Christmas isnt gonna cost me too much cos me and my sis dont really celebrate that much but when you have no cash not celebrating christmas doesnt really save money. I'll get there. I just feel so tired at the minute, i really hate this time of year. God knows how i'll be come next winter if i do manage to get to Scotland to climb Ben nevis...I'll be like Homer when the sherpas carried him up while he was asleep...if only!!
I got in contact with who might be some long lost family members a while back. There rich Pettifers and they never replied...i could do with them sponsoring me right now!!
Oh well time keeps on going and im gonna keep on panicing!lol
Hope all my friends and anyone who reads this is well and take care and enjoy your weekend!

I've just found a website that was on the google search engine when i logged on to mail Franpal and found some amazing offers.
There for a charity called NDCS (for deaf children) but they offer mountain climb trips but aswell as that they offer things like walking the great wall of China and cycling from London to Paris(which im very intrested in) plus a bunch of other things. The lady i talked to from there was very helpful and should she read this THANK YOU. I was given alot of incentive without her probably realising it. The websites www.ndcschallenges.org.uk
It would mean however that next year aswell as Snowdon, Ben Nevis and John o groats to Lands end i'd be doing the great wall of China. I think However that this charity organisation does these events year after year so i wouldnt need to squash so many things into one year and nearly kill myself!
I'm so unsure about things now. Im still positive that Snowdon will be climbed in June 2008! But this site offers so many different events other than mountain climbs. I havent even got a passport yet and here i am planning on going to China!lol
Ok time to run and think!!
Take care people

Ok today i've talked to WWF. After i was turned away as a donator by another charity because i would need to use planes to travel and this will contribute towards damging the enviroment (there words not mine) i thought of WWF. I've also done a search today and found a couple of other charites. One is the snowdonia society and viva who helped me turn vegan! and also the ramblers society which i found a few good friends through! And also the BUAV. So there the main charitys! Also i found i'll be able to do some voluntry work in Snowdonia national park while i'm there so i'll be doing that as well as climbing Snowdon!
Now i need sponsers! I only have one sponser form in my mums shop which is collecting sponsers well and THANK YOU everyone whos sponsered me so far!!
Well, i'll leave it there for today and take care

I have added this part on here because today i noticed some Google ads are on here now through no request of mine. I have no problem with this but i do want to make a few things clear.
I do not support any charity that supports of funds animal testing. In my opinion animal testing is unnessecery and cruel. An animals body and brain reacts totally different to a humans and epileptics such as myself whos epilepsy is uncontrolled by medication are living proof. As well as still having attacks i have a number of life changing side effects caused by anti-convulsant drugs.
Charities such as www.buav.org explain this better than i can and show what animals who are tested on go through. I urge everyone who knows nothing to pay attention to this as animal testing is sick and cruel and preventable.
Please do not think i support any charity that tests on animals. I oppose these strongly and always will.
Thanks

Hey,
For those of you who know nothing or little about epilepsy and are intrested this is the page to read.
First of all i dont have the tonic clonic or grand mal seizures where people fall over and shake. Theres about 15 types of known epilepsy. My epilepsy is 'Partial seizures'. Basically i have a scar on my frontal lobe and temperal lobe on my brain. The electrical currents we all have going around our brains need to continuosly move, with a scar it acts like a faulty door handle...now and again it wont work for a while-the results partial epilepsy! The lobes of my brain are what causes feelings like fear/anger/pleasure. With people who have partial seizures they take it and act differently. Although it may appear to the average joe bloggs they look the same, its actually effecting the person having them different. In my case when i have a seizure i cant talk, i mumble unvoluntry. I dont like holding anything and everything i see,hear,feel or touch causes me to become more frightened-i get scared of everything. Sometimes people have thought i am drunk as thats how i might appear to them. I stay still, be it standing or sitting and usually this lasts for anywhere inbetween 30 seconds and 5 minutes. It then takes me about 15 minutes to totally recover and usually i need the loo(not that you wanted to know that.lol). Then alls ok again. I do have periods of 'bad days'. Where i will wake up one day feeling attacks coming on and have 2 or 3 a day for a week or 2 days or even 2 weeks. However its not usually like that, usually about 3 days. Im not useless when im feeling ill and i can still get on with things if i push myself but alot of the time i go weeks and sometimes months without being ill so its not as bad as it may sound but its not to be taken lightly either. Im on medication as i have been all my life and it has never worked, just calmed my epilepsy down and given me a list of side effects i dont need. My neaurologist has given up on me because i wont have drugs with animal derevitives in and i wont have brain surgery which he has been pretty forceful over.
Well, thats my epilepsy basically explained! Any questions feel free to ask!